We each have different journeys to find our way to our babies but the joy at the end is always the same. Long before my guest knew of her infertility challenges, Kari and her husband became foster parents at a young age, knowing that they were called by God to help children in need.

Being a foster parent is a special calling because the children are sometimes only with you a short amount of time or they come to you with emotional or developmental problems. But Kari feels blessed because it was through the foster parent program that she and her husband were able to adopt their twin boys.

Listen in as Kari describes her journey to motherhood and her love for all of the foster children that have come through her home.

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Facing infertility issues is very taxing for both people in the relationship. Women often go through the stages of grieving each time the pregnancy test comes out negative and men will react differently than women. In fact, some men still believe that infertility is a “woman’s issue,” which is untrue.

My guest this week is Elizabeth Cessna, a private counselor who treats patients who are struggling with infertility. This struggle can often become all-consuming and sometimes an outside therapist can help you find ways to cope with your grief or an unsupportive spouse.

Elizabeth shares ways to keep your psyche and self-esteem intact during your infertility journey rather than trying to please others. She also shares tips for men who want to comfort their spouse but don’t know how to do so.

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I want to wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day, and a peace of mind, KNOWING that your baby will be with you soon.  Allow yourself whatever it is you need today…to get through the day the best that you can.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.  Surround yourself with love and beauty.  If some don’t understand, that’s ok.  All that’s important, is YOU today.  Love and serenity to you all.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I was perusing through some literature that people had sent to me recently, and there were a few words that prompted me to write, as they are good reminders for us all…but especially for the women struggling with challenges regarding their fertility. 

These particular ones come from the lovely publication entitled Stepping Stones from Bethany Christian Services.  Referencing biblical scripture from Ephesians we are reminded that:  Time is but a fraction of eternity.  Miracles are what they are because they don’t happen every day.  Give your miracle some time.  Remember, God is able to do far more than we ask or can imagine.

And also, from the Psalms: We cannot predict how and when God will bless us with the miracle He has in mind for us.  To some, the miracle may come in the birth of a baby, to others in the adoption of a child, and to others in contentment as a family of two.  In the meantime, sit back in confidence and watch your life unfold.

Sometimes that’s easier said than done.  But if we do what we feel in our hearts we NEED to do, then give it up to God and the universe, we really need to try to feel contentment and joy in other areas of our lives along the way.  We don’t want to miss out on the unfolding of our lives.  I personally felt the absence of joy for many, many years… nothing made me happy, and though I KNEW I had much to be grateful for, I just couldn’t feel it.  In retrospect, I wish I had been more active in meditating on it (as I gave up praying for myself once year 7 had past).  And I wish back then I had been more able to live in the ‘now’.  I would have witnessed more of the unfolding of my life during that decade…as, of course, I will never get that time back.

Once again, it’s easier said than done.  But life goes by swiftly, and we miss out on a lot when we focus on what is missing.  I wish I would have known then, what I tell all of you now.  Just KNOW it will happen one way or another.  No one had ever told me that.  NO ONE.  I believe I would have felt a little more empowered, and a little more hopeful and able to live my life more graciously if someone personally would have told me that, because they had walked in similar shoes.

If YOU had walked in the shoes of infertility, and now have your baby, let the women YOU know personally (who are still battling with their bodies, hearts and souls because they are unable to conceive or carry a baby to term) understand the power of KNOWING.  When we decide that we will have what we desire, no matter what, we create a ‘knowing’.  And that ‘knowing’ can give them a certain peace while they wait.  And just maybe that will help.

On Mother’s Day at some churches, the ushers will hand out carnations to the mothers.  When a woman who longs to be a mother is surrounded by others wearing their carnations, and she does not have one, the pain of its non-presence can be excruciating.  That woman wears her suffering, rather than a carnation.  It would be my wish that any church that practices this ritual would ask ALL women to stand who are mothers, or DESIRE to be mothers, to celebrate them ALL, and to give EACH of them a carnation. 

Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult days of the year for those facing infertility issues.  And if ANYONE should be sensitive to that, it should be the church.  If you know women personally in your church who are reproductively challenged, mention this to your pastor.  Maybe he can incorporate ALL the ‘mommies’.  And if he is an adoptive father, as is my pastor, he will most likely be happy to do it.

Hello to you all!  Happy May!  And Happy Mother’s Day!….especially to those of you who are mothers-in-waiting.  One of the hardest days each and every year for me, in my 9 1/2 year struggle, was Mother’s Day.  And each year it became worse.

I can only suggest that when the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the envy, the jealousy and the confusion run through your mind, try to find somewhere in your heart to still celebrate.  Celebrate the mother you are going to become…celebrate the baby that may already be working his or her way to you.  Celebrate YOU, and the determination and drive that are within your soul. And I will pray for you all on Mother’s Day morning.

I’ve also decided to declare the month of May as Mom’s Month!  After all…is one designated day adequate to recognize moms?  I think not!  I believe the entire month is more appropriate. So…Happy Mom’s Month from the Journeys to Motherhood show!  And as the creator of Mom’s Month, I suggest you find a moment EACH day in the month of May to do something special for yourself, to find a moment just for you, to take a second to pat yourself on the back, and to definitely eat a bite (or two) of your favorite chocolate.

I recently spent some time with a very dear friend, Myra Falisz, who was in from Laguna Beach, CA.  And on that day, she went with my baby girl and me to a special little shop in the South Side of town called The Bead Mine.  We created the triad bracelets that I had mentioned in one of my recent shows…the three bracelets that I wanted for my birthmom, for my baby girl and for me, for Mother’s Day.  Three bracelets that no one else had, because I had designed them just for us.  We had an awesome day!  Myra and the owner of this fabulous store, Beth Sturm, were dears for helping me greatly in my decisions of color, design, contrast, clips, etc.  (There was more to this than I had imagined!)  I am SO excited to send it to my birthmom!  I really think she will love it!  So thank you Myra and Beth for your input in my creations and the fun time you both made it!

This show is Part 2 of the interview we are airing with our guest, Deb Tack.  I KNOW you had to thoroughly enjoy Part 1, and if you missed it…go back to Show 13 on our Archives page to check it out.  We are picking up where we left off, as Deb begins to tell us about her life as a mom…an adoptive mom AND a biological mom.  Deb’s story never seems to end, with all its interesting twists and turns.  I’ve said it before…her life is a movie waiting to be made!  So sit back, have a cup of ‘whatever’, with extra ‘whatever’ in it, because, after all, it’s Mom’s Month!  And take a listen to the continuation of our story of Deb Tack.

(After Deb’s interview, incorporated in my closing is a very touching e-mail sent to me by one of my good friends and loyal listeners, Alice Gross.  It’s a beautiful writing, a tribute to ALL moms.  I hope you find it as lovely as I had.)

If you want to talk to Deb Tack about possibly having her and her birthmom and adoptive mom speak, please contact her at debtack@earthlink.net.  Put “Me and My Moms” in the subject line, and she’ll get back to you.

Also, if  you want to contact The Adoption Connection for more information, e-mail them at theadoptionconnectionpa@verizon.net.

Welcome, my friends, as we enter May and celebrate Mother’s Month! We are all sisters and whether you are a mommy, a mommy-to-be, or a mommy-in-waiting, I hope you all realize how special and unique you are. I am very lucky to have you all in my life!

My guest this week is Holly, who works at A Labor of Love Adoptions and is also an adoptee. She shares the story of how she found her birth mother and a new extended family but also shares how nervous she was at first and what she hopes will happen in the future.

So rarely do we hear the happy stories of adoption! Not every adoption story is like a television movie with sad endings. Holly’s story is one of hope and encouragement, especially for those of you who are considering adopting but are fearful of the process.

During Mother’s Month, I hope you find it in yourself to remember the birth moms and surrogates who gave the ultimate gift to you…your child. Heart Mark Designs offers cards and other gifts specifically to remember birth mothers. Even a simple gift from you will be a treasured keepsake for a birth mother.

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The month of April was very rough for me.  Actually, it all began at the end of March.  A series of family illnesses, beginning with my baby girl, including everyone in between, and ending with a serious heart situation for my father, had given me and my health a run for our money.  It is quite difficult to stay calm and stressfree when life throws us for some horrid loops.  I hadn’t felt this out of control…with life…with emotions…since I was in the midst of MY infertility battle.  There were days last month that felt like emotional replays of nightmarish days throughout my long ordeal.  And I was reminded that, no matter how bad it gets, it is important to step back and give it up to God and the universe.  Matters only become worse when trying to take on the weight of the world.  Our backs are only so strong.  Pray our hardest and our best, then give it up, and trust.  What will be will be.  We can only control so much.  We CAN control becoming mothers by deciding NOT to be denied.  But we MAY not be able to control the way in which our baby finally comes to us.  In the end, we realize that the ‘way’ is really not that important…it’s the end result that really matters. 

Happy month of May… which I declare Mom’s Month.  Whether you are a mom, a mom-to-be, or are in that frustrated zone of mother-in-waiting…treat yourself extra special this month, each and every day.  And most of all, take care of YOU.  Exhale, relax, even if in small increments of time throughout your days.  Remember that you are deserving of everything in your heart.  And it WILL come to you.   

If you are struggling with infertility issues and need some reassurances, join me this week as I address some concerns from my listeners’ email. Sometimes knowing that others have also travelled your same path and have had similar experiences can help you deal with the emotional pain.

Two big concerns for some listeners are the fear of having a home study for adoption and how to get over the pain of infertility, even after some time has passed. I had these same fears and pain and I hope you can find some comfort in my own stories.

To find reputable case workers and adoption experts who can lessen your anxiety, you MUST do research and you MUST get references so you are not scammed. Finding the right people to work with you will take away a lot of the fear that couples often experience during the adoption process.

Mother’s Day is coming up on May 11th and if you have adopted your baby, please don’t forget to honor your child’s birth mother. They have truly given you the greatest gift of all. If you would like to send a unique birth mother cards, please visit Heart Mark Designs.

As always, if you have any questions or would like to be part of our prayer chain, please send an email to barbara@journeystomotherhood.com Please know that I have total faith that your baby is on its way to your arms.

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I am very pleased to be joined by my first male guest this week!

John Van Regenmorter from Stepping Stones Ministry shares his story of infertility and how it affected him and his wife, Sylvia, differently. He describes his confusion at why his wife would feel the need to see an infertility doctor and he talks about how his male ego was bruised when they found out his low sperm count was part of their infertility problem.

It was only after Sylvia wrote an article about infertility that John fully understood just how hurt she was during this ordeal and he describes his guilt about not being more supportive of her.

You will realize while listening to John that infertility is not just a woman’s problem. Nearly 40% of infertility problems involve male infertility. It’s very important for men to get checked as well so the doctors can have a full picture of what obstacles a couple needs to overcome to get pregnant.

Thank you, John, for sharing the male perspective of infertility!

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